Have a question that you don't see listed here? Email the Head Kidnapper here and let them know.
Q: What exactly is the Kidnapped Can Opener?
A: A Certain Someone had a very nasty breakup with her now-ex-boyfriend, Mr. Man. At one point, during their prolonged split, he accused her of taking his can opener, and was a little more than upset about it. To try and make this light-hearted and to show him that not everything is so bloody serious, we've started The Can Opener on a worldwide kidnapping tour.
Q: Why? Why would you do this?
A: Why not? Certain Someone needed a little cheering up and needed some support from her friends, so one of her blog readers (and a damn fine human bean, if you ask me) suggested either The Kidnapped Can Opener, or to have everyone she knows purchase a can opener and mail it to Mr. Man with a tag tied to it that said "Get Over It". TKCO seemed to be the less confrontational way of telling this dude to "CHILL OUT."
Q: How exactly does this work?
A: The Kidnapped Can Opener is going on a world tour. That's all we've got right now. Planned stops currently include L.A., San Francisco, the Vancouver (Canada) area, Washington DC, and of course, the Greater Seattle area. The KCO will be mailed to each "kidnapper", who will take whatever liberties they would like with the Can Opener during their time of possession. A few ideas include taking photos with today's newspaper (to prove the can opener is still alive), taking photos of the can opener at various landmarks in the current kidnapper's city, maybe sending the can opener on its way with a souvenir or a tattoo....the possibilities are limitless.
Q. Ooh! Ooh! Can I play?
A: Abso-friggin-lutely. Email the Kidnapping Coordinator here to get yourself on the list. Please include the following information:
- Your first and last name (or pseudonym, if you prefer. As long as the mail will get to you.)
- Your mailing address
- Any preference on when to have the Can Opener visit you (if you'll be on vacation during a certain time, or will be vacationing and want to take the Can Opener with you...)
We're still open to suggestions to streamline the process or make this more fun for everyone involved. Please email us at thecanopenerkidnapper AT gmail and tell us if you have ideas!
Thanks so much for stopping by - we hope you'll kidnap our Can Opener!